the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
