She is in my trunk
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
