So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
