He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
