Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
