oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
