Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize