I seem to have left my pride at pride
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
