just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
