Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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