Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
