Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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