Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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