The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sober January is a disaster.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
