Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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