Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
