walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
