Already got asked if we're dating
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
