dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
