no, he came in my armpit
we made out on top of his cat.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
