**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
