I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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