It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
