just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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