we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
