Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize