are you so shy because you have an std?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize