Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
