Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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