What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
