will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
