I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just googled if crying burns calories
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
