You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
