The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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