Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
