Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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