Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The power of my boobs compel you
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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