Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you win again, gameday.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
