omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize