When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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