well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
