i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
