Don't you send me to vm
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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