Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
