Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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