At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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