There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So squirting runs in the family.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
