Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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