i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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