i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize