Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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