wrigley field is MILF paradise
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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