so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
