Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
