mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
