your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
