3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
