is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There r osticjed everywhere
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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