i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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