Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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