Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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