whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
